Funny Quotes Sayings Page 5
The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne. ---Robertson Davies
I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pretty good. ----Whoopi Goldberg
The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go hey, I'm Vine Man. ----Jack Handey
When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along
-- P.J. O'Rourke
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. ---- Mark Twain
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people. ------ Gilbert Chesterton
Hey, the way I figure it is this: if the kids are still alive by the time my husband comes home, I've done my job. ---- Roseanne Arnold
The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. --- Gilbert Chesterton
When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl. ---Sir James Matthew Barrie
A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around.----Carolyn Birmingham
Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass.
